Do Not Cross

Anyone that knows me at all knows that I love hats. I have too many hats. Over the years I’ve had (and worn) a pork pie, a bowler, a straw trilby, three scally caps, four fedoras, and numerous baseball caps. The one that I wear the most is my blue Kangol Tropic Vent-Air scally cap. I just really like the look and feel of this cap. It has an elastic band so it fits as my hair styles change. And unlike the hard bill of a baseball cap, it has a soft bill, so it doesn’t give me headaches.

But the problem with wearing this cap is that it commonly gets mistaken for a beret. “My wife got a beret like that when she went to France,” someone once told me. I’m happy she got a beret, but this is not a beret! I’m not trying to pull off some artsy-fartsy look here. I’m not trying to convince people that my poetry is what motivates me in life. If I wanted to wear a beret, then I’d do so, and be damned stylish to boot. “Man, I wish I could pull off a look like that,” most people would whisper to their friends.

The trick to wearing non-traditional hats is to have confidence in doing so. Wear your hat with pride. Wave your freak flag high. If you want to start wearing non-traditional hats, scally caps (also known as golf caps or flat caps) are a good place to start. They fit and feel like regular baseball caps, yet have a distinct look that will make you stand out of the crowd. Then if you get the confidence level up, you can move on to fedoras, trilbys, pork pies, or bowlers. For fedoras and the like, wear them cocked to the side for some added flair. But keep it modest, just a slight tilt. A ten to fifteen degree tilt will be enough to look cool but not too much to make it look like you need hat-wearing lessons.

And for God’s sake people. If you wear a baseball cap, take the stupid price tag and authenticity stickers off! It doesn’t make you cool or sophisticated. It makes it look like you want to return it.