Metro Observation #5
Now, I know that when we all ride the subway, if we can’t get a seat, then we all want to make sure that we will be able to stand and hold our balance. There are many simple techniques one can employ to ensure that they won’t be toppling to the floor when the train stops suddenly. Here are some techniques I have used and find to be very dependable:
- Hold onto a handrail; either the vertical ones or the small ones that go across the back of the seats.
This technique works like a charm. All you gotta do is hold onto the rail and brace your feet about a shoulder length apart, and you will be good to go. You can use one hand, or two, whichever suits your fancy. If it is crowded, then just use one hand. The only people who would have a hard time with this would be the hand-less. But I’m sure if you’re hand-less, then you probably are daft enough to figure out a way to cope. I mean, come on, you’ve got no hands!
- Lean against the wall.
Many people seem to prefer this method over the handrail method. Is it because they look cool doing it? Or maybe its because both hands are free, so now you can pour over the latest e-mail forward from your Aunt Millie about Pepsi trying to poison puppies. But I suspect it’s because most people have some strange fear of touching the handrails. I think subway handrails have gotten a bad rap. Probably because most people associate subway handrails with New York City’s germ-infested subway system (which I have no problem passing judgement on at all). But I’m sure its not even that bad anyway. Its not like I’ve seen people licking the hand rails or anything.
- Cling desperately to another person.
Personally, I tend to only notice small children partaking in this method, so it might not be for everyone. But maybe I can start a trend.
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Now, here are some techniques that I have witnessed that I do not approve of:
- Hogging the handrail.
Come on people. Unless all the fluid has drained out of your ears, holding onto the handrail with one hand should be sufficient to keep you from falling. You do not need to lean your entire body against the handrail. For one thing, its annoying to anyone else who is forced to try to share said handrail with you. And it is also slightly perverted looking. The handrail is for safety, not for your pleasure.
- Sitting on the floor.
Ok, so you’re a Metro rider who is fed up with how damn crowded the subway is every time you ride it. I mean come on, 5 pm isn’t that busy really. Everyone should be making room for you! Give me a break. Not only does sitting on the floor take up more freakin’ space than if your lazy ass would have stood up, but it also makes it difficult for people trying to move around you. So unless you want to be stepped on, please don’t sit on the friggin’ floor.
Well that’s all I have for now. In the meantime, try not to be an idiot.